Have you ever lived in the in-between? You look forward to something but don’t know if it's for sure yet? Some people call it a lack of vision. My issue feels like too many visions! Right now, the school where I teach is closing. I find myself without a job. This can be both exciting and terrifying.
I’ve complained. I’ve worried. I’ve prayed. I’ve hoped.
For the past four years, I have taught in our local elementary schools. This fall because of consolidating, I find myself without a job. Yesterday, I interviewed at my old school for a completely different position at a brand new school. Does that even make sense? I went in thinking the job was one thing and it turned out to be something entirely different. Talk about feeling unprepared.
I laugh at myself now but know it obviously isn’t something I’m passionate about. I realize that could change as I learn more, but what about pursuing writing full time? Yes, there is a four book Character Club series, but no one markets it. (Anyone an expert? I’d love to chat.) Then there are options to teach in another district further away. Sometimes it feels like too many options.
This summer we're going to host an in person Character Club like the one in the book series. We will be outside and enjoy the flowers that Rachel draws and sketches. We will look at the bugs Peter loves so much. Part of me gets excited about the possibility of “What if I have to turn people away?” and then the other part wonders, “What if no one comes?” or worse, “What if only one kid comes?”
Vision can be confusing. I used to be nearsighted but after eye surgery, I had 20/20 vision for 15 years. It was wonderful. Now I’m farsighted and need my glasses as I write this. Just as our actual vision changes over time so do our visions of life itself. You may find yourself like me in the in-between right now. If so, I encourage you to find ways to laugh at yourself and spend some time outside. There is truth in stopping to smell the roses (or in my backyard - the zinnias). If you read my February blog post, I'm on mile 8 of my 50 before 50. Get outside and join me.